Are you stressed? Stressed out? Stressed in? Stressed out about being shut in during the shut down?
There is a lot of collective stress in the world today. There is so much uncertainty and unknown. Our world as we knew it has paused. How long will this last? What will happen with my plans to do x this summer? What will happen with (fill in the blank): school, work, life this fall? We are physical distancing to flatten the curve, and we are now wearing facemasks. Oh my.
As part of my work with the International Rescue Committee, I am fortunate to be able to participate in online learning and professional development opportunities through an internal platform we have called Kaya. For those that know me, there are not many things I like better than L & D, learning and development, so I rarely pass up a chance to partake when good stuff is offered. I jumped in to this course “Building Resilience for Humanitarian Workers” this morning, eager to learn more about stress and resilience, and how I might gain tips and tools to help myself and others. The course was a great dive into understanding and coping with stress, and building resilience, and I’d love to share a few of my takeaways. Today, let’s begin by focusing on stress itself.
What exactly is stress? We all know what it feels like, physically, mentally, or emotionally. We probably have instant reactions just reading the word on this page! I am guessing they are negative ones, like the word feels heavy or weighty, even to the eyes alone.
Actually the word “stress” is a neutral term that simply means “pressure on a system.” There are three types of stress or pressure on our system that we might face.
The first is positive stress, which is stress that challenges us to grow. Positive stress is normal and healthy. Think about when an infant is learning how to stand up for the first time, or other developmental milestones. It may be stressful for them, doing this thing they have never done. They may grab mommy’s leg and scream, but they eventually cross this motor skill development threshold. While positive stress may produce physical sensations such as increased heart rate, or mild hormone elevations, the stress is infrequent, short-lived and mild. Positive stress motivates us and challenges us to grow in helpful ways!
The second type of stress is tolerable stress. This is stress which may be significant and activates our alert systems because the outcome is uncertain. Examples of tolerable stress might be taking exams at school, or giving a presentation at work, or suffering a loss, or an injury. We may feel pressure thinking about the future or the outcome, or what will happen if…but if the stress is short-term, and buffered by supportive relationships with caring and trusted adults, we will recover and handle the difficulty. Once the stress is removed, and with support of our network of trusted relationships, we recover and grow from it.
The third type of stress is toxic stress. Toxic stress is stress that breaks us, because it pushes us past our limits or our capacity to handle the pressure that is pushing on our system. Our stress response is activated for too long, and is at risk of not recovering fully. Examples of toxic stress are physical or emotional abuse, chronic neglect, poverty, caregiver substance abuse or mental illness, exposure to violence. According to the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, toxic stress can have damaging effects on learning, behavior, and health across the lifespan.
Fortunately, for all three types of stress, research shows that positive relationships, or what we call social support, can help us ease the pressure, and be able to withstand or bounce back from adversity.
I will continue to share about understanding stress and building resilience in the coming days. Stay connected. Life is a team sport, and we need each other now more than ever. Use your social support network to decompress if the pressure gets too high. And I cannot stress this enough 😉
