Besides being on the top of your body, did you ever notice that your head can ‘go’ places during competition? From moment to moment, your mind can rest in one of three places – the past, present or the future. Do you realize when your mind goes places, and more importantly, are you able to bring it back to present? What if it goes to the wrong tense and causes tension? How do you get it back to the present?
Lao Tzu said “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” I have seen this so much in my own life, when I am too hard and critical on myself about the one thing out of ten that did not go right — living in the past, or jumping ahead in my mind, worrying about the next game or thing — living in the future. So, how do we get back to the present when we float behind or ahead of ourselves?
Let’s break these down first, create some awareness about them, and apply them to life. Living in the past is when you make a mistake and can’t shake it off. It might be a time when you have gotten upset, or have had misgivings, or some kind of negative emotion that won’t go away.
Here’s an example from my life. I was once ahead five games to two in the second set of a gold medal tennis match at the Maccabiah Games in Israel. I served and volleyed, and my opponent saved match point with a great passing shot. She eventually went on to beat me in the third set. Now do you think I thought about that one chance I had to win the match a few times during the rest of the second and third sets? Darn right I did. I drifted into the past, rued my missed opportunity, and struggled with staying present. All credit to her, I gave her an inch and she took a mile.
How about the other direction, when your head goes to the future? Again, here’s a tennis example. Sometimes, players I coach are playing well, ahead in a match, and then start to worry if they will keep playing well, or if they will lose “it.” That’s often when thoughts like “what if I start missing,” or “what if I don’t win the next game” creep in. Those are signs that you are worrying, or getting anxious, which means your head has gone to the future tense. For me, whenever I am ahead and think I am about to win a set, or a match, or even a point, I invariably lose the next point. Guaranteed. Usually it’s a tentative forehand, or perhaps a double fault.
The minute I jump into the future, the universe reminds me to get back to the present. How do I do it? I will remind myself to do whatever it is that got me to where I am right now. What has been working up until now? Just keep doing it. Stay in the process. In other words, stay present. Take a deep breath and be where your feet are, to use a phrase I love from Coach TB, UVa’s head basketball coach Tony Bennett.
My dad used to say “you’d lose your head if it weren’t attached!” Now, while I know that’s not literally true, it might be that figuratively we can lose our head to the past or the future, increasing our tension if we drift too much away from the present tense.
