It is Monday, and it is the start of week 6 (or fill in the blank #) of the shut down. It feels like the weeks of our lives have shrunk and what used to be a 7-day week now consists of only three days: “yesterday,” “today” and “tomorrow.” The other days are hibernating now. To remember them all, and connect with them in a new way, I have begun to re-name them. Mondays are now “Mindful Mondays.” Maybe they are lonely and need some social support, like the rest of us.
Mondays are a good day to start the week off with an extra shot of mindfulness, about our days, our habits, our work, or our why. Brene Brown once said, “we stay busy in our lives so the truth of our lives doesn’t catch up with us.” Maybe when we slow down, we may have to encounter some truths that we may not like. For me, one of these truths was my phone addiction. Those who know me, feel free to chuckle. At zoom Seder this year, my new favorite Haggadah (from jewbelong) asked “What do you seek freedom from? Or another way to put it, what are you a “slave” to? Your phone?” That definitely hit home. Ding, ding, ding. Guilty. Then the end of the paragraph was this “There are no wrong answers, just a chance to think more deeply about the way we conduct our lives.”
A chance to think more deeply about the way we conduct our lives. That was so perfect. We always have the opportunity to change, or as meditation teachers say, to ‘begin again.’ Of course, I want to be free from my phone! I have wanted this for awhile. But I have not taken action on it, or been mindful enough about it, or created new habits to break or rewire that habit. For a long time, I have used the excuse that I use it for work, or for reading my Kindle. But long before Seder, I wanted to change the habit I have of waking up and reaching for my phone. I wanted to stop being that pavlovian dog. Wake up, pick up phone. Next day, repeat. How do I begin again now?
Maybe the combination of a Seder during a pandemic shutdown created the right confluence of factors to push me forward. Maybe it is because I have been implementing and practicing many different habits since January. I have been figuring out when in my day to try a new habit, learning and practicing how to habit stack, considering what new habits I would like to incorporate, or just stepping back and observing myself more. Whatever the reason, or whatever the combination of factors that led to it, I did it! Using tips from my habit science gurus (highly recommend Atomic Habits (James Clear) and Tiny Habits, B.J. Fogg), I broke through, broke an unwanted habit, or rather, began a new habit to replace, or rewire the old one. I have created a new morning mindset routine, one which does not include my phone being the boss of me.
Now, instead of wake up, pick up, I do not look at my phone until I am in the living room, sitting in my blue chair. Now blue chair = good morning phone.
I am now the boss of my phone, not the other way around. Freedom.
On “Mindful Monday,” here’s a high 5 to tiny, atomic habits!
