There is just no playbook for a pandemic. On a global level, the world feels like it’s spinning off its orbit. On a local level, it feels like we are in a suspended time warp, where the clock moves but life stands still. There was a post on social media that said ‘today is March 97.’ That’s not the temperature, but a different type of ‘real feel’. Our country is feeling the effects of the pandemic on so many levels – economic, physical, social, cognitive, and emotional.
I think it helps when we acknowledge that this time of life is just really hard.
And within this ‘no normal’ world, it is more important than ever to savor the moments that are wonderful. My childhood camp friends did a virtual campfire, something we used to do many Sundays in our childhood summers. Just like that we were transported back – we laughed, we cried, we sang. There was such a warmth and comfort in the faces embedded in zoom squares on my computer screen. The power of connection is real.
So, this is hard, and it might go on for awhile. One thing that helps me is my ‘ABC’s’ for tough times. ‘ABC’s’ are simple, and are the building blocks of words and language; let’s use them to remind us about practices that can keep us sane amidst extreme uncertainty.
The “A” is for ACCEPTANCE. Accept yourself, and accept your feelings. Be aware of what your feeling. Feel the feeling, but do not feed the feeling. It is a feeling, and it will pass. But take one minute to pause and sit with it. See what happens. I saw a post today on Linked In from the CEO of Willow Tree, asking employees to talk about what makes them feel more connected as teams, or more ‘WFH,’ We Feel Human. Good to honor and accept our humanity, now more than ever. Maybe we can all be more “awkward, brave and kind” (thank you Brene Brown!)
“B” is for, what else BREATHE. Breathe, gosh darn it! It is the most powerful, elemental tool we have for sinking into our humanity. A conscious breath, or a 6-2-7 as I learned from Jason Selk’s mental training book, Ten Minute Toughness (first part of this video up to min 2:55). Breathe in through the nose for 6, hold for 2, and exhale through the mouth for 7. Just make the exhale longer than the inhale. This lets your midbrain and brainstem autonomic systems (the flight or fight areas) know that you are okay because safety is one of our primary human needs and stress can dysregulate us. In his fantastic Social Distancing Conversation, Dr. Michael Gervais commented that he has been loading up on conscious breaths lately. They are free so use them whenever and as often as you need them, to feel calm, centered and safe.
The “C” is for CONTROL the CONTROLLABLES. We use that phrase often in the world of sports and competition. Control what I can control, and try to minimize my focus or worry on what I cannot control. What can I control today? I can control my actions, my thoughts, my environment, things like how well I eat, sleep, move, or connect with others. Focus in on those things and try to let go of the rest. It is hard to do, and is a skill that we can train our brain to do better with practice.
As I write this, the sun is shining, and I have not been outside for 36 hours. So I am going to take a 6-2-7 and go out for my WOG, or walk/jog, and just control being where my feet are for the next 60 minutes!
