“Connection over perfection”
When I heard this in one of Brian Johnson’s (Optimize) philosopher’s notes, it made my heart strings vibrate. Pingggg. What a perfect thing (no pun intended!) to have on my New Year’s re-soul-utions!
Like many of us, I have definitely lived in the perfection trap at times during my life. And that’s probably why I believe in excellence rather than perfection. And that perfection = death. And that old adage “practice makes perfect?” I hate it. I say practice makes better.
The tentacles of perfection held on to me in different areas of life, at different times, and in different ways. Even after I learned and adopted the thinking that “there is no perfection, only striving for excellence,” I still had resonances of those tentacles creep up from time to time, when coaching, presenting or teaching. When I started teaching Higher Education in 2014 it was a big one. Do I know enough? Will I have the answers?
Of course, often I have been able to get out of my own way enough to land in the sweet spot of connection. Yay! But I can still fall into that trap, thinking that I have to know it all before I present, or have to have it all fit and flow in some perfect way.
I have had, and hated that feeling of not being present. I’m aware of those thoughts that mean that my focus has floated back to me – am I doing it right, do I know my stuff, am I doing a good job. And I know that when that happens, it means I need to shift the focus from me to others. I know I need to remind myself, “you got this.” Just take a breath and pause, and be my best, and everything will be fine. Connection over perfection.
So, while it is something that I intellectually know, I also still need to remind myself, over and over again. Moment to moment. Connection over perfection. Like right now for the New Year, as a re-SOUL-ution. Connection is good for the soul. We remember connection, more than perfection. We feel connection over perfection. We can flow in connection rather than freeze in perfection. It’s always moment to moment, and I can always use reminders. I’d much rather flow than freeze.
